Hey Readers todays post is a huge change from what I normally share. Today I am pouring my heart out to you not in attempts to get your sympathy but in an attempt to open up about myself and share a part of myself I keep pretty closed off and I know there are many of you out there that struggle with these same issues!!
So a little about me…I have for the most part ALWAYS struggled with my weight I can assure you I have gained and lost over 1000 lbs in my lifetime (no joke) I have been on and off diets since the young age of 8. (Please do not blame my Mother I was never FORCED to be on a diet my Sweet Mother always asked if I wanted to diet ALWAYS!!) I blame society because when I was young I was no way FAT! I was a cheerleader and was fairly active.
As I hit puberty I continued to gain weight. As my weight went up my self-esteem went down. I found comfort in food. I was taught by that same Sweet Mother to bake and cook and sew and I loved it. I became very good at it. It started to define me. As did my weight. I was very shy and introverted in Jr High and High School. I had a few close friends and they loved me regardless. I went away to College but before I lost down to my lowest adult weight until I reached that weight again in 2004 and still by society’s standards I was still overweight.
Now I am sure you’re asking why I bring this up?? Well I recently found a program with a National Weight Loss company that was sponsoring Bloggers to participate and blog about their weight loss program and journey. I was excited as I emailed the company to see about participating. I am ready to lose weight regardless of participation. My excitement turned to anger and disappointment as I was told
“Currently our blogger program is at capacity with a waiting list of bloggers with higher social media stats. Even though we periodically move bloggers from our waiting list to the program, all open spots have already been allocated for the upcoming months.”
What? I am too small of a blog to be on your radar? or count? or need your program? For the first time in my life I am “too small” for something isn’t that ironic?
Which leads to the next part of this post…BLOG STATS.
I have been struggling with how to increase , traffic, readership and likes on FB, Intagram and Twitter. I am at a total loss other than to quit my full-time job and devote 60+ hours a week to blogging. Not gonna happen. My full-time job allows me to pay for the things I blog about. I have been struggling with these question “do I really want to make $$$$$ with this blog?,” “do I really want to put advertising on my blog?,” “do I want to follow all the other bloggers who are doing this?” and how are they doing this?” I am befuddled truly befuddled. I see bloggers out there who have been blogging for a few short months and they have more followers, more page hits, more everything! How do they do this I would love to know.
And that leads me back to the “feeling blue”. Self Esteem suffers, being sociable suffers, and you my dear readers are subject to this post. I apologize if this is not up to the normal “Pink” adventure seen here. I only reach out to you my dear readers because I know some of you struggle with these same issues. I don’t want you to feel like I do, alone in this battle especially with the weight loss. I have called in all my markers and I am going to conquer my issues with my weight. I have made the decision to start documenting my journey here I hope you don’t mind. I welcome your support and comments. If you need support, I am here for you I am sincere when I say this. I have not figured out all the details but I will be sharing my journey on a weekly basis so stay tuned. Oh ya I will still have yummy fattening recipes to share!!LOL!! I will share things that work for me but the bottom line is you need to choose the best plan for YOU!! And as always check with your doctor before starting a weight loss program.
I hope this has not been offensive to any of you I just needed to share some tender and sensitive feelings with you. I welcome your comments and look forward to sharing my weight loss journey with you!!
Have a fantastic weekend!
Oh sweetie. My heart hurts for you. We never truly understand why some doors are never opened or why doors close, but know there is something better for you. It may not feel like it right now, but you already are taking this and using it for good to inspire others. {{Hugs}}
Laura, I love how candid you are in this post. Something I value more than any money I’ve made from blogging is the support these amazing bloggers can offer to each other. We are all here to cheer you on and help you out! Do what you love and you will be happy in the long-run. I too struggle with finding balance- I often think, “If I just spend X amount of hours a week, I can turn this into a full-time position” and I’ve seen so many bloggers do just that. But making money isnt why I started blogging- I started because I love to create and share my ideas. When I lose sight of this, blogging is tough. It is hard not to compare yourself with others, because even in a non-virtual world women do this all the time. It is just way more prevalent online because you are only seeing people at their very best! I wish you the very best in all your endeavors- weight loss and blog gain. You are amazing, and whether you have 10 readers or 10,000- we love you for who you are! 🙂
Thank you for such an honest post-I just found you through Crafterminds. As for the weight loss program, I used WeightWatchers Online after my last baby and it was crazy easy and effective.
With the blog stats, I started my blog over a year ago as a hobby and had all of 10 followers/facebook fans 5 months ago when I decided to narrow my niche and get serious. My Alexa ranking has vastly improved over the last weeks but I see many blog with many times more followers than me and Alexa numbers much higher (and therefore “ranked” lower). I’m not sure how it all works but so far for me consistency seems to be the key. That and awesome photos since Pinterest is my biggest referring url.
Anyways, I’m running on. Thank you for sharing.
Melissa
Hi Laura! It’s always good to be candid in your posts – readers appreciate it! 😀
It’s easy to get bogged down with stats, but it’s an energy drain that is keeping you from focusing on growing, honestly. When I finally said “it doesn’t matter” was when I started to see results. You’ll always be smaller than someone else, and even the big bloggers get rejected for opportunities for a variety of reasons. Focus on your own stats and content and don’t worry about anyone else and you’ll grow. You are good enough. I know it!
I absolutely, 100% feel all the things you are expressing here! My blog has been around since 2009 but I didn’t get serious about it until last November. I don’t know how to gain more follows, but I’ve decided I’m just going to be me. Which is what I appreciate about you!! I’m new to your site and actually heard about it through instagram and seeing all the pics from a recent craft night. I’d love to do one for the east side of phoenix area and do some networking. Thanks for being so honest and sharing your thoughts with us. Have a great week and good luck! Can’t wait to read more!
I can totally feel all of that! I am a full time K teacher and tend to have a very limited time to blog. I would LOVE to have tons of followers and have people comment on a daily basis. However, in reality it just takes a lot more time, consistency and devotion that I have on hand right now. It took some time to come to that realization. I have to look at what is important. I have 2 young kids of my own, 20 5 yr. old’s at school, a husband and a house that still needs me. My blog will grow in it’s own time, when the time is right/or if and when it is meant to be. It is hard not to get caught up in other peoples numbers and stats. (I am guilty of this!) Hang in there! Blog because it makes you happy, it is not worth letting it stress you out. 🙂