Hey Readers todays post is a huge change from what I normally share. Today I am pouring my heart out to you not in attempts to get your sympathy but in an attempt to open up about myself and share a part of myself I keep pretty closed off and I know there are many of you out there that struggle with these same issues!!
So a little about me…I have for the most part ALWAYS struggled with my weight I can assure you I have gained and lost over 1000 lbs in my lifetime (no joke) I have been on and off diets since the young age of 8. (Please do not blame my Mother I was never FORCED to be on a diet my Sweet Mother always asked if I wanted to diet ALWAYS!!) I blame society because when I was young I was no way FAT! I was a cheerleader and was fairly active.
As I hit puberty I continued to gain weight. As my weight went up my self-esteem went down. I found comfort in food. I was taught by that same Sweet Mother to bake and cook and sew and I loved it. I became very good at it. It started to define me. As did my weight. I was very shy and introverted in Jr High and High School. I had a few close friends and they loved me regardless. I went away to College but before I lost down to my lowest adult weight until I reached that weight again in 2004 and still by society’s standards I was still overweight.
Now I am sure you’re asking why I bring this up?? Well I recently found a program with a National Weight Loss company that was sponsoring Bloggers to participate and blog about their weight loss program and journey. I was excited as I emailed the company to see about participating. I am ready to lose weight regardless of participation. My excitement turned to anger and disappointment as I was told
“Currently our blogger program is at capacity with a waiting list of bloggers with higher social media stats. Even though we periodically move bloggers from our waiting list to the program, all open spots have already been allocated for the upcoming months.”
What? I am too small of a blog to be on your radar? or count? or need your program? For the first time in my life I am “too small” for something isn’t that ironic?
Which leads to the next part of this post…BLOG STATS.
I have been struggling with how to increase , traffic, readership and likes on FB, Intagram and Twitter. I am at a total loss other than to quit my full-time job and devote 60+ hours a week to blogging. Not gonna happen. My full-time job allows me to pay for the things I blog about. I have been struggling with these question “do I really want to make $$$$$ with this blog?,” “do I really want to put advertising on my blog?,” “do I want to follow all the other bloggers who are doing this?” and how are they doing this?” I am befuddled truly befuddled. I see bloggers out there who have been blogging for a few short months and they have more followers, more page hits, more everything! How do they do this I would love to know.
And that leads me back to the “feeling blue”. Self Esteem suffers, being sociable suffers, and you my dear readers are subject to this post. I apologize if this is not up to the normal “Pink” adventure seen here. I only reach out to you my dear readers because I know some of you struggle with these same issues. I don’t want you to feel like I do, alone in this battle especially with the weight loss. I have called in all my markers and I am going to conquer my issues with my weight. I have made the decision to start documenting my journey here I hope you don’t mind. I welcome your support and comments. If you need support, I am here for you I am sincere when I say this. I have not figured out all the details but I will be sharing my journey on a weekly basis so stay tuned. Oh ya I will still have yummy fattening recipes to share!!LOL!! I will share things that work for me but the bottom line is you need to choose the best plan for YOU!! And as always check with your doctor before starting a weight loss program.
I hope this has not been offensive to any of you I just needed to share some tender and sensitive feelings with you. I welcome your comments and look forward to sharing my weight loss journey with you!!
Have a fantastic weekend!